Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
