found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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