I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
