I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
