this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
