Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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