I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My vagina just recognized that song.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
