I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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