Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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