it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
