This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
