Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
