I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
