4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
