this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you would pick up someone in the library
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize