I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
