I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize