i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize