Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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