How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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