He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize