Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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