I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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