is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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