i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
