So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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