the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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