What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
