Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
