i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
