oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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