I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize