just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
