You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
