You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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