This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just gargled with NyQuil
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
