you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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