When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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