So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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