You're my little dorito
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
