cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
