And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
