she's into porn, im staying here tonight
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
