So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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