Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
