dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
