I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
