I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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