I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize