this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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