it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
