He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
vagina is talking i cant
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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