I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
