So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
