I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
