this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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