In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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