just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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