i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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