so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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