I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
