he thought i was a dude.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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