its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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